February 27, 2012

This Is Not Forever

I really hate that feeling of "nothing is ever going to be OK". It has been suffocating me for a few weeks now. Nothing is pleasurable and everything sucks. And there are so many different feelings drowning me that it's almost intolerable.

February 21, 2012
There are so many thick layers weighing me down right now. I'm completely trapped under all of this shit. Layers of sadness and layers of anger. Layers of self-loathing and shame. Layers of fear from the past and for the future. I'm choking on all of it. I wish that collapsing under the pressure was an option. It is taking every single ounce of my will power to sit with this and convince myself that this is not a "forever suck".

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