July 13, 2013

Brain Overload

I'm sorry for being such an ass about posting. I just feel like there's so fucking much going on in my life right now that it's impossible to keep up. I went to the hospital. Did a bunch of art. Did a lot of trauma work with my therapist. And now there's a guy in my life that I'm pretty interested in. And that's weird for me. Usually I try to press the eject button as quickly as possible. But with this one... I really like him and he's so nice and I think he's a really good guy for me. In a drunken confession, I already told him that I have PTSD and it's because I was sexually abused, and somehow he was so nice about it. I'm just so shocked about how nice he is. But my brain is in overload. I'm dealing with all of this stupid trauma shit and then dealing with my present life with this guy that I really like and dealing with staying safe all at the same time and I don't know what to do. I just feel like there's so MUCH going on. I have my new job coming up, this new "relationship" (whatever it is) coming up and I'm feeling so dissociative. I just feel like my life isn't real. It's so hard. I don't know what I'm doing and I can't think straight. Uggghhhhhh. I'm excited, nervous, happy, scared, everything, all at the same time.


  1. I would say having PTSD myself.. You are normal, these feelings are all apart of having it.. Now we have to learn how to separate over feeling and good healthy feeling.I am glad you posted again. Its an outlet!

    1. You're right - it's hard to figure out what are "normal" feelings and what are PTSD "overreactions". Life is filled with so many emotions!