Sooo, I've decided that I have to stop being that crazy person who keeps emailing her old therapist because she can't deal with feeling so helpless about the situation. It's only making me more anxious because she doesn't respond and I then hate myself for emailing her. I'm getting the hint. She's not responding. I should stop emailing. But my impulses are like, "But wait! She needs to know this too! And then maybe she'll change her mind!". I'm thinking maybe a little bit of impulse control will help. Distress tolerance for the helpless feelings. All that good stuff. Thank goodness my CBT therapist didn't leave me too - I get to process some of this stuff when I see her. She assures me that I'm not crazy and that I'm doing well with everything. She said I have a switch that got turned on when I was suddenly thrown into the world by myself and I had to figure out how to cope without my therapist. It was like a do or die moment and I turned the switch on and am now fighting and using skills.
However, it's not really helping that I don't have a new therapist yet. For some reason it's taking multiple people fucking forever to call me for an intake despite many attempts at contacting them. So in the meantime I'm left trying to deal with all of the feelings mostly by myself. Which is good practice I guess, but also a little overwhelming trying to process everything.
I'm just going to keep reminding myself that:
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