My drawings have kind of developed again over the course of the past month. I've been trying to insert hope into some of my drawings. These two are from early on in my second hospitalization. In one of them I tried to leave a corner for the possibility of hope since my therapist had suggested that as a way to challenge negative thoughts. In the other drawing I drew the really scary feeling of falling down a big hole.
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| October 30, 2011 |
Trick or Treat?
This picture got ripped in the corner but luckily it seems to just add to the effect. The silver/gold/pink area was my attempt at leaving room for positive thoughts and the possibility that people don't hate me as much as I do. The rest of the picture includes my usual reds and oranges for fear and anger, browns and greens for shame, and blue and black for depression. I added in a green moon because it seemed like it was fitting for the Halloween season. The title seemed appropriate because the negative feelings I have about myself are the tricks that my mind plays on me and the treat is the possibility that there is something to hope for and that I am a good person. The question of trick or treat represents that I have to make a choice to believe in the treat.
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| November 1, 2011 |
Falling
I drew this one when I was feeling really anxious and felt like I was falling into that trap of being sucked downwards into depression. The edges of the abyss are jagged because it's a painful journey downwards but I guess you could also look at it as places to hang onto and use to climb back up. It also became our fireplace so that the room was a little more cozy.
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